How Eggman Stole Christmas"
by GuGoomba
Summary: A rewrite of the Chistmas cartoon and Dr. Suess classic "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" for the Sonic Universe with a few new rhymes.


All Sonic characters copyrighted by SEGA. This Sonic universe is the one from NetRaptor's stories. Slasher, Serena, Spike, Talon, all the chao, and Zeypher are copyrights of NetRaptor. Spark is copyrighted by Ace Castle. Most of the story is copyrighted by whoever owns Dr. Suess. I am only using it as a part of getting into the Christmas spirit. All the songs from the cartoon are in Italics.

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Author's Note: Here is who represents the charater from the story.

The Grinch = Eggman (Robotnik in the songs)

The Whos = The Mobians

Who-Ville = Knothole

Max the Dog = Metal Sonic

Cindy Lou Who = Pilot the Chao

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"How Eggman Stole Christmas"

Every Mobian in Knothole liked Christmas a lot…

But Eggman…who lived just north of Knothole…did not!

Eggman hated Christmas…the whole Christmas season.

Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that his suit was too tight.

It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.

But I think the most likely reason of all…

May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But whatever the reason, his heart or his head…

He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Mobians.

Staring down from his city…with a sour, evil frown…

At the warm lighted windows below in their town.

For he knew that everyone down in Knothole beneath…

Was hanging a big holiday wreath.

Metal Sonic stood nearby, watching him eat his third meal.

He knew if he talked, he would be come scrap steel.

"And they're hanging their stockings!" He snarled with a sneer.

"Tomorrow is Christmas. It's practically here!"

Then he growled with his fat fingers… nervously drumming…

"I must find some way to keep Christmas from coming…"

"Or tomorrow, I know…all those Mobian girls and boys will wake bright and early.

They'll rush for their toys, and then…! Oh, that noise. Oh, the noise, noise, noise. Noise!

There's one thing I hate. All the noise. Noise, noise, noise!"

"And their shrieks, squeaks and squeals, racing around on their wheels.

They'll dance with big bells tied to their heels."

"They'll blow their small horns, they'll bang their small drums.

They'll race their RC cars, they'll pop their pop guns."

"Then the Mobians, young and old, will sit down to a feast.

And they'll feast, and they'll feast. And they'll feast. Feast, feast, feast!"

"They'll feast on Mobian Pudding and Mobian rare roast beast.

Roast beast is a feast I can't stand in the least!"

"And then, they'll do something I hate most of all!

Every Mobian in Knothole, the tall and the small…"

"Will stand close together…with Christmas bells ringing.

They'll stand hand in hand. Then those Mobians will start singing!

They'll sing, and they'll sign. And they'll sing! Sing, sing, sing!"

And the more Eggman thought of this Mobian Christmas sing…

The more Eggman thought…"I must end this whole thing."

"Why, for over 5 years I've put up with this now!

I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?"

Then he got an idea…an aweful idea!

Eggman got a wonderful, aweful idea!

"I know just what to do!" Eggman laughed in his throat.

"I'll make a quick Santy Clause hat and a coat."

He chuckled, and clucked, "What a great evil trick.

With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

__

You're a mean one, Robotnik. You really are a heel.

You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel, Robotnik.

You're a bad banana with a…greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Robotnik. You're heart's an empty hole.

You're brain is full of spiders. You've got garlic in your sole, Robotnik.

I wouldn't touch you with a 39-and-a-half-foot pole.

"All I need is a reindeer." Eggman looked around,

But since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.

Did that stop Eggman? Eggman simply said:

"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead."

So he took Metal Sonic and he took some black thread…

And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.

Mecha let out a cry at his master Eggman,

"I won't do this job, it's one I can't stand!"

"Quite!" said Eggman as he hooked him to the sleigh.

"You won't even notice it once we're on our way."

Then, he loaded some bags and some old empty sacks…

Onto his ramshackled sleigh, and climbed on the back.

Then Eggman said: "Giddyap!" And the sleigh started down

Towards the homes where the Mobians lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. No one knew he was there.

All the Mobians were dreaming about sweet dreams without care.

When he came to the first little house on the square.

"This is stop number one!" The old evil Clause hissed

As he opened the door…empty bags in his fists.

He first spotted the Mobian's stocking all hung in a row.

"These stocking…" he said "are the first things to go."

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant…

Around the whole room, and he took every present!

Then he stuffed them in bags and placed them on the floor.

He then stuffed them one by one out the door.

__

You're a vile one, Robotnik. You have termites in your smile.

You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Robotnik.

Given the choice between the two of you, I'll take the…seasick crocodile.

You're a rotten, Robotnik. You're the king of sinful sots.

You're heart's a dead tomato sploched with moldy purple spots, Robotnik.

You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.

Then he slunk to the ice box. He took the Mobians' feast!

He took the Mobian pudding! He took the roast beast!

He cleaned out the ice box as quick as a flash.

Why, Eggman even took the last can of Mobian-hash!

Then he stuffed all the food out the door with glee.

"Now," grinned Eggman, "I will stuff out the tree!"

As Eggman took the tree, as he started to shove…

He heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast and he saw a small Chao.

Little Pilot the Chao, who tried not to be loud.

She stared at Eggman and said: "Santy Clause, why?

Why are you taking our Christmas tree? Why?"

But, you know, that fat man was so smart and so slick.

He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, my sweet little chao," the fake Santy Cluase lied.

"There's a light on this tree, that won't light on one side…"

"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear.

I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."

And his fib fooled the chao. Then he patted her head…

And he got her a drink and sent her to bed.

And when Pilot the Chao was in bed once more,

He went to the tree and stuffed it out the door.

Then he went out the door himself, the old liar.

And the last thing he took was the log for their fire!

On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food that he left in the house…

Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then he did the same thing to the other Mobians' houses…

Leaving crumbs much too small for the other Mobians' mouses!

__

You nauseate me, Robotnik…with a nauseous super nast.

You're a crooked jerky jockey. And you drive a crooked horse, Robotnik.

You're soul is an appaling dump heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful…

Assortment of rubbish imaginable, mangeled up in tangeled-up knots.

You're a foul one, Robotnik. You're a nasty, waspy skunk.

You're heart is full of unwashed socks. You're soul is full of gunk, Robotnik.

The three words that best describe you are as follow, and I quote: 'Stink, Stank, Stunk'

It was a quarter of dawn, all the Mobians still a-bed,

all the Mobians still a-snooze, when he packed up his sled.

Packed it with their present. Packed it with their ribbons and wrappings.

Packed it with their dolls, their toys, and their little candy rings.

Ten thousand feet up, up to the top of Mobius Summit.

He rode with his load to the top to dump it!

"Pooh-pooh to the Mobians!" he was evily humming.

"Their finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"

"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!

They're mouths will hang open and then the Mobians in Knothole will all cry "Boo-hoo."

"That is a noise," grinned Eggman, "That I simply must hear."

He paused, and Eggman put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

In started in low. Then it started to grow.

But this, this sound wasn't sad.

Why? This sound sounded glad.

Every Mobian down in Knothole, the tall and the small…

Was singing…without any presents at all!

He hadn't stopped Christmas from coming. It came!

Somehow or other…it came just the same.

And Eggman, with his big feet ice-cold in the snow

Stood puzzling and puzzling "How could it be so?"

"It came without ribbons. It came without tags.

It came without packages, boxes, or bags!

He puzzled and puzzled, till his puzzler was sore.

Then Eggman thought of something he hadn't before.

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "Didn't come from a store.

Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!"

Then Mecha fired his engine and cried, "It's starting to fall!"

And Eggman ran to him and grabbed him by the claws.

Pulling as hard as they could bear to try,

They just couldn't seem to get it back up the the cliff's side.

Then what happened then? Well, in Knothole they say

That Eggman's small heart grew three sizes that day!

And then, the true meaning of Christmas came through

And Eggman found the strength of ten people, plus two!

And now that his heart didn't quite feel so tight…

He whizzed through the air in the bright morning light!

With a smile in his soul, he descended Mobius Summit!

Cheerily blowing "Toot toot!" on his trumpet!

He rode into Knothole, he brought back their toys

He brought back their stuff to the Mobian girls and boys.

Even Mecha was nice from all the joy in the air.

Somehow his hatred for Sonic just wasn't there.

Eggman took each present down off the sleigh

And handed it to the Mobians who ripped away.

To all the Chao, a big box of fresh candy!

And to Sonic, a new pair of shoes, just dandy!

To Tails, a new part he needed for the Tornado.

And to Spike, some arrows and a crossbow.

To Slasher, a Bible, which told of the Lord.

And to Sally, a stuffed bear which she just adored.

To Zeypher some polish to give her metal a bright shine.

And to Spark a new watch so he could keep track of time.

To Knuckles, a new bag to put shards in.

In case the Master Emerald was ever shattered again.

Next was Talon's turn to open a gift.

A sweater woven by Zeypher that was a perfect fit.

Serena's was last, but certainly not the least.

A fine pink dress with matching shoes and head piece.

He brought everything back, all the food for the feast.

And he, he himself, Eggman, carved the roast beast.

Welcome Christmas! Bring your cheer!

Cheer to all Mobians far and near.

Christmas Day is in our grasp

So long as we have hands to clasp.

Christmas Day will always be

So long as we have we.

Welcome Christmas while we stand…

Heart to heart, and hand in hand.

****

The End


End file.
